I Can Do Better
by Montley
Summary: Lily Luna Potter is not the girl she seems to be on the outside. No one knows that she's crumbling down on the inside. Warnings in the top author note.


**A/N: Just some quick little warnings there are mentions of rape and suicide if you are not comfortable with reading that. **

**Also special thanks to my lovely betas liberal4peace and aaliona :)  
**

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I Can Do Better

By Montley

"Lilbit, the time we've had together has been awesome, and you're great," Ewan Wood said nonchalantly to me, Lily Luna Potter, holding my smaller hands tightly in his own large ones, grinning like a wildcat. It was during one of Hogwart's annual Hogsmeade trips, and we were in the Three Broomsticks, drinking the sweet drink of butterbeer, which always tasted like perfection on my taste buds. I had never smelled Amortentia, but butterbeer would probably be included in what its aroma would be.

Ewan was a seventh year along with my older brother, Albus, or Al as most people called him, and I was only a fifth year. Ewan was one of the boys practically lusted after by most of the girls (and some boys) in Hogwarts, as well as my brothers were, for our dad is Harry Potter. Most people had wanted a taste of my father's fame through my brothers, even though they were not the one who brought down Voldemort. But, people were wrong to lust after Ewan, I did not know why I ever did.

"I know. Thanks, Ewan." I smiled at him; I thought I was, in a way, happy with him. We were not perfect, and I could not say that I "loved" him, but we worked well together in some sort of strange way. I loved his light brown hair, his glowing bright blue eyes that shone with cheerfulness and glistened when he talked, and the way I fit perfectly into his shoulder when we cuddled at night. Sometimes those were the only good qualities about him, but I was going to stick with him. The reason being that I did not want to lose anyone ever again.

"Well, I hate doing this, since I know that you are very fragile, babe." Ewan scoffed, and I scowled at him. "But, I'm breaking up with you, Lilbit. I've moved on, but you've been my best so far. Trust me, it's not you, it's me."

My mouth gaped open slightly out of shock. My heart thumped loudly, and I began breathing heavily, thinking, 'How could he do this to me after everything he had done to me?' Immediately I stood up, accidently pushing the table closer against him, pinning him to his booth. I raised my hand, ready to slap him as he grimaced in his seat.

"You're not worth it, Ewan, you're too damn fragile, always begging, forcing me to do things! You've made me feel-," I snapped and stopped mid-speech; I could not talk anymore to him and did not want to at all. I had already lost him in two seconds flat. I could no longer bear it, my brain faltered, and I felt as though my heart was being ripped slowly out of my chest, cracking my ribs until I could see it straight in front of my face. I gathered my belongings, and I ran out of the Three Broomsticks as I heard Ewan tell someone in the pub that I was too touchy.

Tears formed in my eyes as I ran down an empty alley and wept softly to myself. I could not breathe properly; it was rough, crackling, as though I was sick. I felt as though everything was falling to the pit of my stomach, crumbling me from the inside out, ever so slowly in excruciating pain.

It was not fair; had he only been with me to use me as a plaything?

Suddenly I felt dirty again, remembering the places he had touched me, the filthy words he had whispered in my ear. This showed me that I am only a piece of trash that someone throws on the sidewalk and everyone crushes as they walk by, accidentally or on purpose was up to them. All I was, was a no good slut in his eyes and in everyone else's, including my own.

And I realized I had lost not only him and her, but myself along the way.

XXX

In this past October, the beginning of the Quidditch season at Hogwarts had officially begun. The Gryffindor team was very strong this year, full of passionate and skilled players. Ewan Wood was the Team Captain and the Keeper, like his father before him. My brother Albus was the Seeker, just like Dad had been. My other older brother James had been a Beater and also the Team Captain. Honestly, unlike my family, I did not have much interest in Quidditch. I only went to games to be with my friends and to watch my brothers. I would never admit it to anyone, but the thought of flying scared me senseless. Just imagining being up on a broom brought frightful images to my mind.

Throughout the game I could not keep my eyes off of Ewan; he seemed strong and proud up on that pitch. My friend, Abigail Finnigan, caught me staring at Ewan on multiple occasions, while my other friend, Frank Longbottom seemed disgruntled. My cousin, Hugo was just laughing at Frank and clutching his stomach, which it seemed he always did to poor Frank.

Both of them were Gryffindors, like me. Hugo looked exactly like his father, my uncle Ron, with red hair and blue eyes. Frank was shyer than the outgoing and rambunctious Hugo. He had dark brown hair, which he liked to keep above his ears with his cute, wire-rimmed, black spectacles on top, framing his round face. They kept muttering to each other, unfortunately I had not heard a word of what they had been saying.

Abigail had been a good friend of mine since first year began, but my best friend had been, and always will be Sage McAlfrey. Abigail was pretty, short but a bit chubby. She had curly, sandy blonde hair that framed her head beautifully. Everyone seemed drawn to her when they first met her, and she had had a few boyfriends already. Currently, she was dating a Slytherin boy named Viktor Zabini, whom I disliked greatly. He was a nasty, spoiled, rude prat, but Abigail admitted that she was dating him for the reason that he was apparently a _very_ excellent snogger. After the Second Wizarding War, House Unity became _so_ important to everyone at Hogwarts, so friendships between Gryffindors and Slytherins were encouraged. It did not mean that I had to like them _all._

But, it was already axiomatic that Gryffindor would win against Ravenclaw, which they ended up doing; the score was 210 to 30, Gryffindor to Ravenclaw. The Ravenclaw team had not been doing well since around the time I started attending Hogwarts. After the game officially ended, I ran onto the field with Abigail to congratulate my brother on catching the snitch when I bumped into Ewan. Neither of us had been looking at where we were going, and we both fell on the ground after we bumped. I remember his cheery smile and staring right into his eyes as he assisted me in standing up again. He introduced himself, but I already knew who he was, and to my excitement he knew who I was as well.

We had walked to the common room together after he changed out of his uniform. It was safe to say that we had bonded quickly. We hung out in the common room after classes, working on school assignments or simply chatting by the open fire. During that time he started calling me Lilbit, and I adored the nickname, as I had never had one before. It was not anything special, but it was something, and it proved that in some way he cared about me. It made me smile for real for once. In about two weeks he asked me to be his girlfriend. It had been like a dream come true, and it had turned my face into a wide, real grin. I had thought that I would finally be happy, like I was actually worth it for once in my life.

Our first official date had been a Hogsmeade visit, where we had ventured around, shopping at Honeydukes, Zonko's and more. We had also grabbed butterbeers at the Three Broomsticks (my favorite location since it never ceased to warm me).

Later, he took me took a hill near the Shrieking Shack, telling me that it was his favorite spot in all of Hogsmeade. We lay on that hill together in what felt like peaceful serenity; this had been quickly becoming my new favorite spot as well. As I was talking to him- my mouth babbling on and on- we were both perched on our shoulders staring at the other. He leaned forward, gently pushed my bright red hair out of my face and kissed me for the first time, pausing to mutter that I talk too much. I had been shocked, but I felt sparks, and my heart had been fluttering wildly.

He had wrapped his arms around me and I had snogged him back like an amateur. His tongue had grazed the surface of my lips and I had allowed him entrance. He had started slipping his arms under my shirt, caressing the area around my bra. He had then skated his fingers around and snuck them underneath my bra, stroking my breasts sensually. I had not been able to help myself, and I shuddered under his touch, allowing him to do whatever he wished to me.

I had my own arms draped over his strong shoulders, our tongues wrapped as one. He lowered his arms towards my pants, slowly letting them slip under and over my panties, playing with the elastic. I felt a bit uncomfortable, we had not been seeing each other that long, but I did not want to lose him.

He removed his arms from me and began unbuttoning his pants as he kissed me, his eyes closed but mine wide open in fear, praying that no one would come by and see us. It had been too late to stop him.

XXX

The rest of the time I was his girlfriend, he would take me to every single one of my classes and wait for me outside of them every single time. He tended to pull me into broom closets or bathrooms before whisking me off to class, often causing me to be late and wind up in many detentions. I was starting to feel claustrophobic around him, but his touch was so addicting. In a way, I did not want it to end.

He stopped allowing me to be with my friends for more than a minute, making my time, his time. Abigail called him a control freak, so I called her a jealous bitch. Safe to say she refused to talk to me for a long time. At that moment I had been close to losing her for good. I had to reassure myself constantly that it was just a simple fight.

Frank appeared as though he was avoiding any sort of contact with me. Any moment he saw me, he would turn around and walk the other way, especially when I was walking with Ewan. It made me feel as though I was poison. One day I cornered him in the hallway, demanding why he was avoiding me.

He had said, "Because I just can't see you without thinking that you're with him."

Astonishment had flooded my system as he had darted away from me, and I felt stupid for never noticing that he had feelings for me. He was cute in his own way, like how his glasses were always tilted, how he would stumble wherever he walked, his obsession with Potions and how enthusiastic he would be talking about it. Devastation lingered in the fine line of our friendship, and I did not want to lose him as a friend, but Ewan was my boyfriend.

I was alone even though I had Ewan. He never wanted to talk, only to snog and too much more, I was not sure if I was comfortable with that, but I did not want to lose him.

XXX

Before Hogwarts, my parents would tell me and my brothers of their tales of the time they attended Hogwarts. The one I adored the most and requested to hear the most frequently was the Room of Requirement and how Dad had led Dumbledore's Army. It sounded too good to actually be true, but in my first year I found it and started to use it as my own personal room. On rainy days it gave me a view of a bright blue sky full of clouds that I desperately needed. That sky was calm and peaceful, like how everything should be in life. Dainty and fragile, serenity that lived in its own peace. It was my room, and I did not want anyone inside it with me, ever. It had been somewhere that I could venture to all by myself, and it was where no one could ever find me, even if they cared to try.

One day Ewan had been pressuring me for some alone time with him, but basically my alone time was always spent with him. He just did not want to always be surrounded by onlookers. Under pressure I suggested _my_ special room, the place where _I_ got away from stress of the world. He could force me to do anything he wished, making me crumble the second I had told him of my room. I had resigned up _my_ room for _his_ pleasure, one that I was forced to be a part of. He was thrilled and demanded that I take him there immediately, so I did regretfully. At that moment, I could have told him I lied, but I did not. I did not want to lose him.

Eagerness filled him when he paced in from of the wall where the room should appear. The doors filtered on the wall, and they were regal, with one column on each side of the door. He had wanted it to represent his own desires, and when we entered, it ended up being a room with a large king sized bed with a royal blue, fluffy looking duvet. There was nothing else inside except a regal chandelier and wood-paneled floors with cream painted walls.

I had managed to stammer out the word what, when his lips landed on mine in a searing kiss as he pushed me towards the large bed, tearing my shirt off in the process. I had wanted to cry, but he did not care in the slightest.

He began to take me there almost every day, and I did not have it in my heart to ever say no to him. From there our relationship dwindled, but I still wanted him just to have him and try to be happy. Besides from Ewan, it felt as though no one wanted me. I could not lose him.

I felt a glimmer of hope that our relationship was more than just snogging and sex when I revealed to Ewan my fear of flying. We had been talking about Quidditch, the only thing other than us he could talk about, and I had stammered it out when he asked me why I did not play.

During breakfast the next morning, an unfamiliar owl delivered me a letter at breakfast in the Great Hall. Inside it had said:

_Lilbit, _

_ Meet me at the Quidditch pitch at 9 sharp._

Though I could barely recognize the handwriting, it was obviously Ewan's, as he was the only one who called me Lilbit. I did as I was told apprehensively. I could no longer deny that I was afraid of him and what he could do.

As I arrived on the dimly lit Quidditch pitch, Ewan had been standing in the middle holding one broom in his hands, smiling as though he were like a chivalrous knight. I could not help but smirk at him as I approached him cautiously, and he held the broom out to me saying:

"Time to rid you of your fear, Lilbit. Hop on."

I had stared at that broom and the sky, fearing the fall that I would endure if I boarded it. Its mere presence mocked me, but at Ewan's urging, I tentatively lifted my leg over one side of the broom and sat down, ready to cry as it shook and lifted a bit in the air.

As that happened, I immediately snatched the broom in a tight grip. Ewan sat on the broom right behind me, latched his hands over mine, and leaned against my trembling back. He whispered instructions to me and soon we were actually flying. My eyes were barred shut, and Ewan directed the broom for me. Suddenly it occurred to me that the broom must be too small for the both of us. I had started screaming, but I quickly calmed down as Ewan shushed me, and I got a good look at the sky.

It was not a bright blue like my special room tended to be, but it was calming all the same. The darkness of the night was more beautiful from up high. I smiled at the stars, hoping that she saw me from here, but the thought of her brought a lump into my throat. I had told myself before that I could not think of her again, I had betrayed myself at that moment. Tears slid out, but I was able to control them. He could not see me cry.

Being up here was a feeling that I was angry for never experiencing before now. I had had many opportunities to do so. Dad, Mum, my brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, always wanted me to. All of them appeared to be Quidditch fanatics but me, so I was the different than the rest of them. I had always been the oddball anyway. In a way that was reassuring but unsettling at the same time. Ewan nuzzled his head onto my shoulder and coaxed me along the ride, telling me that everything was fine. If he were someone else it might have been fine.

The broom had stopped mid-flight, hovering above the pitch. My heart thudded as I stared at the pitch far below us. If I were to fall, why couldn't it have been two feet in the air, instead of what I thought to be two thousand?

Ewan's hand turned my face around to face him, and he locked his lips against mine. It was sweet, not rough like it had always been, but full of emotion. It was what I had hoped to be love, but nothing lasts forever.

From there our relationship went downhill. So if anything I should have predicted our imminent break-up; I just never wanted to lose him or anyone ever again. Losing people is more pain than I could possibly deal with again.

A few nights before the Hogsmeade trip, I had been studying in the common room all by myself. I caught eyes with Abigail who was sitting at a table with Frank and Hugo. There was want and sadness looming in her eyes, and I wanted to reach out to her, hug her and be friends again. Her expression proved that she was not lost yet. I stood up and attempted to make my way to them when I was intercepted by Ewan, I almost groaned out of frustration.

"Hey, Lilbit," he had said. "Want to go to our special place?"

I stared at him blankly for a few seconds, realizing that I did not want to and that I did not have to. I wanted to talk to Abigail and Frank and Hugo for once, not Ewan, not Ewan and Abigail and Frank and Hugo. Just me with Abigail and Frank and Hugo.

"No," I said, bewildered at that one word. It was a word that could hurt someone so easily, breaking that person from the inside out, possibly ruining their whole life. Ewan's eyes widened in surprise; I had never refused him before.

He demanded, "Why not?"

I pushed passed him, and he remained standing there in pure shock. Abigail smiled at me as she sat there, and I was relieved that I was not going to lose her.

"Hey," I said to them. Hugo gave a short wave and a wink, but Frank kept his head bowed down. Hugo never left me during that time, he was my cousin, and we had been close since we were babies, nothing could change that.

"Hey," she said back. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too," I cried and she stood up, and we enveloped each other in a long awaited hug.

"Finally," Hugo proclaimed. "I've been tired of both your bitching."

I let out a laugh as I was suddenly forcibly turned around. It was Ewan, a look of anger pierced on his face.

"Yes," I muttered, staring at my feet as Abigail tried to pull me away, but I signaled to her that I had it under control.

"Why not?" he said through gritted teeth, shaking me slightly by the shoulders, and my throat swelled, my eyes filling with tears.

"Why? Why?" I yelled, lifting my head up to forced eye contact, capturing the common room's attention. "I'm sick of this! I sick of you using me! Every damn day since I showed you MY special room not OURS. I don't want to lose you, but I want to be with my friends! I want to have alone time! My life doesn't have to center around you, Ewan!"

Ewan had kept looking around him, trying to stop others from staring. "Calm down, Lily," he instructed, his teeth still barred together.

"L-lily?" I stuttered, baffled, weeping harder now. "Y-you don't call me that. You-You- You call me Lilbit...you call me Lilbit."

"Look, I, uh, let's take this somewhere else," Ewan persisted, grabbing my hand in his gently.

"No!" I shouted, and I ripped my arm away from him.

"I'm sorry, Lilbit," he muttered, trying to hush me. That Lilbit had nothing behind it like the rest did, and I wept.

"No, you're not," I said quietly through my tears.

I turned around to face Abigail, who was sympathizing with me through her facial expression. She grabbed my arm and led me upstairs where I told her everything I had not been able to tell her before.

We cried together.

Two days later, Ewan kept with his promise to take me to Hogsmeade. I wished he never had.

XXX

Reflecting on the past hurts, and makes you realize how wrong you were. As I sat in that darkened alley weeping, I wanted to die, just as Sage, my best friend did.

It hurt to remember her. I did not want to think about her; I did not want people to talk about her. I wanted to scream. It hurt. I was trapped. Alone. Suffering. Before now I never realized it. It only took losing another for me to.

Sage's passing happened near the end of fourth year. I had had a good day; it was the one of the ones I had used to have before now. Afterwards it was hard to have a good hour. I had arrived back to the common room from classes with Frank. Sage had been missing from classes all day; she had told me she was not feeling well. I had recommended that she go to the Hospital Wing, but she did not listen. That was the thing about her; she had listened to herself only and rarely took my advice.

She had grown up a half-blood, with an abusive wizard father, who tortured her in more ways than one. Ways that are too terrible to speak about. One day her mother had revolted against her father, resulting in both of their deaths when Sage was only ten. She was sent to an orphanage in London where she was later visited by Professor Longbottom, who invited her to Hogwarts. I never realized, but she was always haunted by her past every day until she could not take it anymore. She had only told me once, and once was enough.

The moments that I walked up to my dorm I was calling her name, when I had no response I figured that she had gone to the Hospital Wing, like I had told her to. The sight before my eyes when I opened that door would never leave me. Sage was lying on the floor, her crystal blue eyes wide open, her midnight black hair sprawled around her head, and her wand pointed at the temple of her head. A note was pinned onto her robes, a note I never read.

I had run to her, trying to arouse her, screaming for help. Those moments that only lasted a few seconds were the longest of my life. I pushed on her chest in an attempt to resuscitate her, my tears dampening her robes and face. Girls who heard my pleas from the common room dashed inside. Two of them pulled me away from Sage, another I could hear left the room to retrieve Madam Pomfrey before I blacked out, but there had been no way to save her. She was dead since the moment she uttered the spell against her temple. Deep inside me I knew that Sage could not be dead, and it took me a long time to adjust.

Everyday since then I wanted to wake up and see her again.

XXX

I did not know how long I wept in that desolate alley, but what frightened me more was that no one seemed to care to find me, not even Ewan. I lost him. I lost him. I lost him. I cannot lose someone. After Sage, I did not know whether or not I would be able to handle this. I hated him. The only thing he did to me was break me further, cracking me wide open. I grabbed my legs and held myself, pausing only to wipe tears away from my face.

I could still hear the laughter of my peers wafting around Hogsmeade. They were chatting and being happy, which is something that I cannot imagine myself doing anymore. When I heard my named being yelled from a recognizable voice, my heart leaped, and I gasped.

I opened my mouth to yell that I was here, but nothing came out. I tried to wipe all my tears away, but it only escalated into more tears. Bright green eyes from a pale head with jet-black hair popped at the other end of the alley.

_Albus. _

His eyes grew wide when he finally saw me. He ran down the alley, and I waited for him patiently, still crying.

"Lily! Rose, Abigail, Frank, Hugo and I have been looking for you for, well forever," he gasped, his hand lying on his chest as he breathed heavily.

I said nothing in return, and he sat down next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders. "Why are you here? What happened, Lily?"

"I'm not fragile," I muttered, starting to rock my body back and forth.

"What are you talking about?" he questioned curiously, his eyebrows creased.

"I'm not fragile," I repeated, still rocking.

"Lily, what happened?" he asked again persistently.

"EVERYTHING!" I yelled. He backed off slightly, but his eyes shone of sympathy. .

"Did Ewan break things off with you?"

"Yes, but-but, that's not everything is it," I wept and crashed my head onto his welcoming shoulder. My tears ran away from disaster zone and onto his him. He started patting my head in a steady pattern.

"It's Sage, isn't it?" he asked, but he did not need an answer as I wept against him. "That day was not just bad for you. I was in the common room when I heard you scream."

I looked up and stared at him in shock as he continued, "I thought someone attacked you. After all the stories Dad and Mum talked about, I could never be too careful. I yelled at some girls to go upstairs and check on you. When you were being carried down, I thought you were dead. Your face was tear-stained; you were limp in their arms. Then they laid you on the couch, and I ran to you and felt for a heartbeat as they reassured me you had only fainted, but I wanted to make sure for myself. Both of them were shaking themselves, and other people starting talking to them when they started crying. Then Madam Pomfrey came running in and dashed upstairs. You were still passed out when she told us of Sage's suicide."

"Albus…" I breathed as I saw silent tears strolling down his cheeks.

"Sage was an amazing person, no matter how many times you and she bothered me, but that's how little sisters are. Annoying, but you love them anyway," he smiled and pinched my nose affectionately, allowing me to form a real smile on my face. "I love you, Lily, even though it might not seem like it sometimes, since you are my sister, but you'll never lose me, and I never want to lose you."

I did not think he did it intentionally, but that promise he uttered made me seize him in a hug, and made me grateful to have Albus Severus Potter as my brother. He's a person with a pure heart, just like Dad.

"I love you, Albus," I murmured against his ear.

"And you know, Ewan was a big dick anyway," he pointed out.

"Well not exactly, more like a small dick," I countered with a slight giggle. At first Albus laughed, but I could tell when realization dawned on his face and his mouth slightly gaped open.

"You-you didn't, did you?"

"I did, but I didn't want to," I sighed, and Albus hugged me tighter.

"And he dumps you," he muttered furiously. "Let's kill him together."

"No," I mumbled ashamedly.

"We can get Aunt Hermione to set a lawsuit against him and we can-," Albus started until I interrupted him.

"He's not worth it," I informed.

"I guess not, and it's your choice," Albus responded. "But I'm still going to kill him."

I scoffed at him and then he stood up and offered his hand to me to help me up. My legs were sleepy and wobbly, causing me to almost collapse, and he laughed, just as a brother should. He slung his arm around my shoulder again and walked me out of the alley. I laughed at how silly I had been for curling up in an alley of all places. It might have been too dramatic, and I smiled.

"ROSE!" Albus yelled, and I saw my older cousin near The Three Broomsticks, a wave of relief flooding over her face. She quickly ran over and started fretting over me.

"Where have you been?!" she yelled. "We've all been so worried, you promised to meet us and when you didn't show we just got so nervous. Sometimes you are so annoying. Oh, no, you've been crying! Ugh, Lily!"

"Love you too, Rose," I laughed and enveloped her in a hug.

"Honestly, this one's nuts," Rose muttered, but returned the hug nonetheless. Then we went off to find Frank, Hugo and Abigail, who were all relieved to see me. We spent the rest of the day together, and I was not alone. I was not going to lose them. I was happy. I was loved.

After that, the days wore on with work and little play. I could truly say that I was happier. Albus made sure to talk to me every day after finding me in the alley. Abigail, Frank and Hugo were officially my friends again. I was not going to lose anyone, Ewan was only a waste.

XXX

At first Albus did not bother me about what I had revealed in the alley, but he cornered me one day during the next week, expressing his sorrow. It made me sad was when I had to tell him exactly what Ewan did.

He cried.

Weeks later I apparently had a nervous breakdown; the pathetic part was that I could not remember most of it. Before it happened, I remembered Ewan approaching me in the common room. He told me he wanted me back, that he wanted to continue our little rendezvouses. My heart starting pounding furiously in my chest, my body was shaking, and I started feeling nauseous. Panic rushed to my brain and through my body. I could not return to him ever again, everything he did to me was not worth it.

He leaned down, took my trembling chin in his hand and tried to kiss me when I screamed. He backed off suddenly, afraid of me, afraid of someone fighting against him. The last thing I remembered was Albus heading straight towards me, worry written on his face and in his bright green eyes.

XXX

Waking up to the bright light of St. Mungo's was unsettling. I was able to faintly make out Albus talking to Mum and Dad. My dad openly wept with my mum, who was grasping my hand, almost in a way that she did not want to lose me. Albus made a head tilt towards me, and my mother locked eyes with my and held me in her arms.

"Mummy," I gasped and held onto her as she gave me kisses on my cheek at the same time my dad started rubbing circles on my back. James came running in then, holding a box of chocolates, and a smudge of chocolate was around his lips.

"Lily!" he greeted happily. "You're awake. And this is not what it looks like. I'm not eating the chocolate Mum and Dad told me to buy for you."

"James!" my mum screeched, retreating a bit from our hug. "Get her a full pack!"

"Whatever you say, mummy dear," he said in an affable tone, leaving with a salute, and my father and Albus laughed.

"What day is it?" I asked.

"It's Thursday, dear," Dad answered.

"Oh," I answered, feeling resigned. I was going to go study for exams with Abigail today. "Can I go home?"

"Well, the healers wish to keep you here for a while longer, then your father and I will take you home for about a week, and then you will return to Hogwarts in time for your OWLs. Also, the healers gave you a sedation spell, so if you feel sleepy and drowsy that's normal," my mother answered. I nodded my head appreciatively, and I lay back down in my bed. James ran back in, now with two boxes of chocolate.

"You know, you being Harry Potter, we should get a discount here, each of these cost two galleons!" he vented as he entered. I giggled, and he handed me the box of chocolates. I opened it and began eating, filling with the sweet tastes of the world's best medicine. Slowly I began drifting off again, and Albus continued speaking to my parents and James. My mother began weeping once more. I could faintly hear mentions of my name, Sage's and Ewan's. I fully realized that it no longer mattered.

XXX

"How does it feel to go home, Lily?" my healer, Padma Patil asked. I had grown accustomed to seeing her every day. Unlike so many people, she listened to what I had to say and gave me real advice.

"Great," I said while smiling, and I hugged her, which she gratefully returned. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Lily, now go," she said and pushed me towards my parents, who then apparated us away as Ms. Patil waved. The smell of my home was what first greeted me. There was no other way to put it than it smelled like home. James was there to greet me with a huge hug.

"COME OUT!" James shrieked after we parted out hug. In an instant all of my relatives popped out of nowhere: Grandpa, Grandma, my aunts, uncles and cousins, all with wide grins on their faces. Even Abigail and Frank's faces came out of nowhere. My eyes filled with tears, not sad ones, happy ones, and I wept.

"Oh, no," I heard Albus moan.

"No!" I reassured him. "I'm happy."

Commotion occurred, and Frank and Abigail walked towards me and hugged me. I had missed them the most, and I had written them frequently. Frank planted a kiss on my cheek, making me blush.

I could start over and move on.

I can do better.

No. I am doing better.

* * *

**A/N: I hoped that you enjoyed the story! **

**Please leave your thoughts in the reviews! :)**

Written for:

_The Seven Fics Challenge #1_

_Song Shuffle Competition_


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